Are There Monsters Under the Bed?

I have been a member of the First Parish Unitarian Universalist in Portland for almost ten years.  About a year ago, I was asked to talk about fear during the children's portion of the service. This is what I said: 

Fear is the feeling we have when we are scared.  

Who here has been scared?  We all have.

My nephew and niece used to be scared of dogs.  Really scared.  They would cry and run when they saw a dog.   Is anyone here afraid of dogs?  Or, used to be?  They can be scary if you’re not used to them.  

When you look your fear straight in the face, do you know what that’s called?  Courage.  I’m going to tell you a short story about finding courage.  

Emma used to be afraid of talking with people at restaurants.  If we were at a restaurant, she wouldn’t order her own food.  Has that happened to any of you?  Scared of talking with people you don’t know? 

Well, one day Emma wanted a donut and I said to her, “If you want a donut, I’ll give you $1 and you can go in and order one for yourself.”  She cried and cried and even yelled.  She was afraid but she really wanted that donut….

Emma discovered something that was even more powerful than her fear, something that gave her the courage to face the fear -  Independence. Her wanting to make her own choices helped her face her fear.  

She went in and got the donut.  And after that, her fear hasn’t stopped her from being independent.  

My niece and nephew's love for Emma, who had a dog named Jake, gave them the courage to face their fear.  They wanted to be able to come over and see her more than they wanted to avoid dogs. Now, they are good friends with Jake and they can tolerate other dogs.  

Fear and courage go together.  Like, feet and shoes.  If people didn’t have feet, we wouldn’t have shoes. Right?  Same thing.  If people weren’t ever afraid, we wouldn’t have courage. 

Does courage mean that you aren’t scared?  No.  It means that even though you are scared, you look that fear right in the face anyway.  That’s what courage is.  

Facing our fears helps us grow!  And guess what?  We never stop growing. Adults face their fears and grow, too.  But now it’s not our parents reminding us it’s okay to be afraid and giving us a chance to discover something stronger than fear.  It’s our friends, our colleagues, our partners, our families and all the people who tell us the truth.