One the one hand, I don't have to do a thing - get someone the right gift, act nicer, react less, exercise more - to be my best self. I am incredible as I am. (I don't mean I'm more incredible than anyone else. We are all incredible just as we are.)
On the other hand, I forget this. And when I forget that I am my best self, everything is a chore. We all forget sometimes, even Michael Jordan.
So, the paradox is that we don't have to do anything to be our best selves and yet we want to do something to remember. Thus, I suggested documenting Real Like That, or making up a daily physical practice - to assist you in remembering. It's helping me.
Per a teacher called Bashar, paradox is our center of power. Whenever there seems to be a contradiction:
- I want to be excited for the family get together but I'm dreading seeing my…
- I want to be calm and I have 8 million more gifts to wrap….
- I want to be compassionate and I'm mad as hell….
- I want to trust myself and I am not sure I do...
that indicates the existence of a fertile middle ground, beyond the contradictions, creating both.
Just because I don't know what that middle ground is yet doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I don't know what the internet mechanism is for getting this from my keyboard to all of you, but that doesn't mean the mechanism doesn't exist.
Allowing for this middle ground is access to peace of mind and connection. There is no problem to figure out, no side to win. There is simply a willingness to be connected to something we don't yet see.
Allowing for this middle ground is access to peace of mind and connection. There is no problem to figure out, no side to win. There is simply a willingness to be connected to something we don't yet see.
In this video link, Bashar explains the fundamental Paradox of Experience - the contradiction between intention and surrender. His teaching embodies the spirit of the Serenity Prayer:
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
This is another video I've listened to many times. I don't have to do a thing to be my best self. And, I do remind myself of that regularly.
Here is something that came to mind after reading the Paradox post....
ReplyDeleteRock at Bradbury State Park
I have been mountain biking the trails of Bradbury for many years. There is this one trail that has a large 15 foot rock face than you need climb. Every time I approach I start getting myself ready and pumped up. This will be the time that I clean it "climb it without stoping, falling or touching my foot down" So I throw my body forward and pedal as hard as I can... I get about half way up and my back tire starts to spin and I need to put my foot down so I do not slide down the face. In my head I think I just need to ride more and get stronger to make it up.
One day as I approach I try something different, I do not throw my body forward but sit back and instead of pedaling like a madman I keep a nice steady stroke. I find myself 3/4 of the way up before putting my foot down. Now it is a bit scary as the fall is that much further if things go bad. For many rides I use this method... sometimes I forget and again throw my self at the rock... Each time wondering why I can not make it to the top.
Then one day as I hit the 3/4 mark climbing up the face it occurred to me that all I needed was one more strong pedal stroke and I would make it over the top. So when I reach the point that my head said "put you foot down" I gave it one more strong push and I made it over.
My 1st paradox was my thinking that the way up was by throwing myself at the rock face and thinking it would launch me up and over. All it did was lighten my rear wheel and allow it to spin. Who would have thought the way up higher was to sit back and keep a steady stroke.
The 2nd paradox was getting higher but still being short of the top and allowing the fear of falling drive me to put my foot down. Looking back it seamed silly as it only took one more pedal stroke to bring me over the top.
I am embarrassed to say how many times it took me to learn this lesson. How many times I tried the same technique. How many times I still forget and throw my self at the rock.